- Catholic Church Relents, Okays Divorce When One Party is Deceased
- Olympian Carlos Yulo Makes Peace With Mom, Gifts Her Lifetime Supply of Cotton Buds
- Philippines Mandates Universal USB-C Charger to Spur Battery Electric Vehicles Adoption
- Filipinos Invite Jehovah’s Wrath by Persecuting Apollo Quiboloy, the Son of God
- Jesus Christ Confirms Sibling Apollo Quiboloy’s Divinity, Inferiority Complex
- China Accuses Philippines of Abusing Free Showers From Chinese Ships in West Philippine Sea
- Oxford University Finds Bongbong Marcos’ Long-Lost Diploma After £24 Million Donation From the Philippine President
- Enthusiastic Supporter of Duterte’s War on Drugs Saddened by Civilian Deaths in Israel-Hamas War
- Anti-Poverty Czar Larry Gadon to Tondo Slum Dwellers: ‘Just Stop Being Poor’
- UST Study Determines Average Time You Spend in the Bathroom Before Your Date Starts to Think That You Took a Dump
- Filipino Man Wins Japanese Castle in a Raffle, Promptly Makes Plans to Invade Neighboring Town
- Senator Aquilino ‘Koko’ Pimentel Wins P117 Million in Lotto Without Buying a Ticket
- Philippines Cedes Mindanao to China for $20 Billion in Cash, NFTs and Dogecoins
- Drugs Win Philippines’ War on Drugs
- Migrant Worker Learns the Bitter Truth: His Kumpare Had Been Riding His Honda While He Was Away
- Iglesia Ni Cristo Partners With BIR to Implement Innovative ‘Salvation Tax’ System
- Senator Dela Rosa Declares Trees ‘Communist Sympathizers,’ Calls For Complete Deforestation of Mountains
- Filipino Tourist Sets New World Record For Fastest Airplane-Touchdown-to-Seatbelt-Unfastening Time
- Elon Musk Offers $1 Billion to the Philippines If It Changes Name to ‘Philippenis’
- Our Daughter Is Now a Young Woman. Time For Her to Be Circumcised!
- Modern-Day Hero Refused Burial at Libingan ng mga Bayani
- Justice Secretary Remulla’s Survival Tip to Leftist Groups: ‘Stop Being Annoying’
- Canadian PM Trudeau Thanks President Marcos for Regular Supply of High-Grade Filipinos
- Jollibee CEO Tanmantiong Sues Company, Demands Paid Leave, 13th-Month Pay
- Ungrateful Daughter Chafes at Role As Parents’ Retirement Plan
- Water Cannons Aimed at Philippine Coast Guard Ship Actually Shower Heads, China Insists
- Upsilon Sigma Phi Neophyte Proud of Brods Who Remade the Philippines Into a People-Exporting Third World Economy
- South Korea Claims Exclusive Use of ‘East Sea’, Demands Vietnam Drop Name for Its Own East Sea
- Ilocano Migrant Worker Feels Deep, Metaphysical Connection to Congressman Sandro Marcos