KIDLAT

Filipino Man Wins Japanese Castle in a Raffle, Promptly Makes Plans to Invade Neighboring Town

(Akita City, Japan) – Biñan, Laguna native and self-confessed weeaboo Rodel Rosario, a 32-year-old factory worker in Japan, have won an old samurai castle located in rural Akita Prefecture in a raffle conducted on January 29, 2024 by the prefectural government to dispose abandoned houses and other derelict properties.

Included with the castle is title of its previous owner (“Daimyo of Takagawa”), the surrounding five-hectare land and various samurai castle paraphenalia such as armors and weapons, farming implements and Edo-period household utensils.

Japan’s rapidly graying population especially in the rural areas have left millions of properties–houses, castles, schools, container ships, nuclear power plans–abandoned, and the local government have started programs to auction off or give them away for free to willing owners.

“It’s just incredible to win a castle in a raffle,” said a visibly excited Rosario. “Never in my wildest dream did I imagine taking over a Japanese castle and being a daimyo. I need to take kendo and calligraphy lessons as soon as possible.”

The daimyo were leaders of the different clans in Japan during the Warring States Era, protecting their vast land holdings with samurai and often waging wars with neighboring clans.

Despite acquiring the castle for free, the cost of maintaining such a grand abode and its surrounding lands should be daunting for a mere factory worker like Rosario. However, he plans to spend at least 80,000 yen a month from his salary for the castle’s upkeep and maintain his position as preeminent daimyo of rural Akita Prefecture.

But the castle’s upkeep is not Rosario’s chief concern. Foremost in his plans is to raise a samurai army to invade the lightly defended nearby farming town of Ogawa, an endeavor that would test his martial skills, honed through countless hours of playing Ghost of Tsushima in his PlayStation.

His instincts tell him that the town would fall in one or two days of sustained assault. Ogawa’s sprawling farmlands would then ensure food for his domain and its women would be sold off as slaves or kept as concubines–for himself and members of his ragtag army.

Rosario further adds that with Ogawa Town firmly under his control, he would quit his job at the plastic molding factory and devote himself full-time to being a daimyo, penning haiku in his spare time and expanding his territory until the whole prefecture is under his control.

His ultimate goal is the capital of Tokyo, but for now, he is keeps himself busy trying to recruit would-be samurai warriors to his cause through Facebook Groups. Many of his friends remain unconvinced, but the lure of war booty and women slaves may prove too tempting for even the most skeptical weeaboos.

Kidlat News Creative Commons BY-SA 4.0. Japanese castle photo from Wikimedia. Creative Commons BY-SA 3.0.