• Typhoon Kristine Routs Philippines in Landslide Win
• Philippines Exported Record 129,600 Tons of Filipinos in 2023, DTI Figures Show
• We Don’t Need a Divorce Law in the Philippines
• University of the Philippines Study Finds 8 Out of 10 Panay Islanders Have Aswang DNA
• Senators Tito Sotto, Ronald Dela Rosa Introduce Bill to Change ‘Lupang Hinirang’ to ‘Bayang Magiliw’
• Catholic Church Relents, Okays Divorce When One Party is Deceased
• Olympian Carlos Yulo Makes Peace With Mom, Gifts Her Lifetime Supply of Cotton Buds
• Philippines Mandates Universal USB-C Charger to Spur Battery Electric Vehicles Adoption
• Filipinos Invite Jehovah’s Wrath by Persecuting Apollo Quiboloy, the Son of God
• Jesus Christ Confirms Sibling Apollo Quiboloy’s Divinity, Inferiority Complex
• China Accuses Philippines of Abusing Free Showers From Chinese Ships in West Philippine Sea
• Oxford University Finds Bongbong Marcos’ Long-Lost Diploma After £24 Million Donation From the Philippine President
• Enthusiastic Supporter of Duterte’s War on Drugs Saddened by Civilian Deaths in Israel-Hamas War
• Anti-Poverty Czar Larry Gadon to Tondo Slum Dwellers: ‘Just Stop Being Poor’
• University of Santo Tomas Study Determines Average Time You Spend in the Bathroom Before Your Date Starts to Think That You Took a Dump
• Filipino Man Wins Japanese Castle in a Raffle, Promptly Makes Plans to Invade Neighboring Town
• Senator Aquilino ‘Koko’ Pimentel Wins P117 Million in Lotto Without Buying a Ticket
• Philippines Cedes Mindanao to China for $20 Billion in Cash, NFTs and Dogecoins
• Drugs Win Philippines’ War on Drugs
• Migrant Worker Learns the Bitter Truth: His Kumpare Had Been Riding His Honda While He Was Away
• Iglesia Ni Cristo Partners With Bureau of Internal Revenue to Implement Innovative ‘Salvation Tax’ System
• Senator Ronald Dela Rosa Declares Trees ‘Communist Sympathizers,’ Calls For Complete Deforestation of Mountains
• Filipino Tourist Sets New World Record For Fastest Airplane-Touchdown-to-Seatbelt-Unfastening Time
• Elon Musk Offers $1 Billion to the Philippines If It Changes Name to ‘Philippenis’
• Our Daughter Is Now a Young Woman. Time For Her to Be Circumcised!
• Modern-Day Hero Refused Burial at Libingan ng mga Bayani
• Justice Secretary Remulla’s Survival Tip to Leftist Groups: ‘Stop Being Annoying’
• Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau Thanks Philippine President Marcos for Regular Supply of High-Grade Filipinos
• Jollibee CEO Ernesto Tanmantiong Sues Company, Demands Paid Leave, 13th-Month Pay
• Ungrateful Daughter Chafes at Role As Parents’ Retirement Plan
• Water Cannons Aimed at Philippine Coast Guard Ship Actually Shower Heads, China Insists
• Upsilon Sigma Phi Neophyte Proud of Brods Who Remade the Philippines into a People-Exporting Third World Economy
• South Korea Claims Exclusive Use of ‘East Sea’, Demands Vietnam Drop Name for Its Own East Sea
• Ilocano Migrant Worker Feels Deep, Metaphysical Connection to Congressman Sandro Marcos