We Don’t Need a Divorce Law in the Philippines

Crafting a divorce law in the Philippines is a monumentally bad idea. Here’s why:

• We will lose our status as “The Only Country Besides the Vatican Where Divorce is Illegal.” Think about that for a second before you babble about gender equality and all that nonsense.

• You’re not a Muslim, are you?

• Just go and see the doctor to cover up those bruises from last night’s fight. It’s so much cheaper (not to mention quicker) than going through a divorce. Try not to raise your voice next time.

• You are your husband’s property, like his oxen and donkeys. You didn’t know that, did you? Ignorance is no excuse; read up on the Bible and educate yourself.

• That guy at work you think you could hook up with after you divorce your husband? I bet he’s a bigger asshole that your current spouse.

• Have you tried marriage counseling? Confessing your sins? Putting a portrait of Jesus or Mother Mary in your bedroom?

• Maybe you’re just a selfish bitch.