UP Freshman Sports Che Guevara Shirt in Attempt to Attract Women Who Hate Imperialism but Love Red Flags

QUEZON CITY – In a bold display of ideological peacocking, University of the Philippines (UP) freshman Wilfredo Alarcon, 18, was spotted climbing the steps of Palma Hall in Diliman Campus Wednesday afternoon wearing a slightly distressed Che Guevara T-shirt–a sartorial choice he claims was made “to spark revolutionary discourse,” but which several sources confirm was more accurately aimed at sparking interest from left-leaning women majoring in Ethnic Studies.

“I think Che Guevara represents, like, the fight against global capitalism,” said Alarcon, casually sipping a ₱220 Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks. “Also, I heard UP chicks are into guys who read The Communist Manifesto at least once.”

Photo: Shirt featuring Che Guevara's iconic visage, pre-faded, slightly distressed.

Alarcon, who hails from Sikatuna Village and whose parents own a Jollibee franchise on Katipunan Avenue, purchased the shirt from an Urban Outfitters clearance bin during a recent US trip after Googling “hot communist chic fashion.” The red-and-black garment features Guevara’s iconic visage–complete with the thousand-yard revolutionary stare–and appears to have been pre-faded for authenticity.

When asked if he was familiar with Che Guevara’s actual political legacy, Alarcon became briefly defensive. “Well, I saw the movie,” he said, referring to The Motorcycle Diaries. “He was like, super into Harley bikes and helping people, right? Honestly, I mostly identify with his vibe.”

Witnesses report that the shirt has already garnered attention in his Economics 101 class, where one sophomore female student purportedly asked if Alarcon “was being ironic or just insufferable.”

“I think he means well,” said fellow classmate Nathan Madera, a self-described anarcho-syndicalist who follows five different mutual aid collectives on Instagram. “But it’s giving ‘revolutionary by aesthetic’ vibes. Like, if Che Guevara had a podcast and a Patreon.”

Despite mixed reactions, Alarcon remains undeterred.“I’ve got a black beret on the way,” he said proudly. “And I’m thinking of growing facial hair in a way that suggests I’ve read Joma Sison, but not in a performative way.”

At press time, Alarcon was seen at the UP Food Hub prompting ChatGPT “what is dialectical materialism?” on his Macbook Pro while casually rotating his copy of Capital: Volume 1 so that the title faced outward.